Trying to Conceive: oh god I want a baby so bad I’d be the best mom ever and love the baby so much and it will have my eyes and his hair and be the smartest child ever and probably be president of the world. And then when this one is two, we’ll have a second of the opposite sex and everything will just be rosy and perfect!
Upon Receiving Positive Pregnancy Test Yessssss! Now to break out the wine and celebrate. Oh shit. No wine for a year. WTF HAVE I DONE?
First Trimester MY BABY IS MADE OF PUKE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP AND I JUST LOOK FAT AND PIMPLY OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE I’M NEVER GETTING PREGNANT AGAIN
Second Trimester Oh gosh, I feel splendid. Look at my adorable baby belly. Pregnancy is a breeze! I shall convince Mike that we need to subscribe to the Quiverfull movement and have a billion babies.
Third Trimester Why is everyone walking so fast? I can’t sleep. Why do I have to pee every 10 seconds? Who shrunk my shoes? I need more coconut yogurt RIGHT NOW. This is ridiculous, definitely never getting pregnant again.
After Birthing & Meeting Baby THAT WAS AWESOME THIS IS THE GREATEST THIS EVER! I’M GONNA DO THIS 20 MORE TIMES!
6 Weeks Postpartum I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN. What have I done? I’m going to be one of those parents whose child still gets up every 3 hours at 4 years old and we’ll go to sleep specialist after sleep specialist who will have no cure and we’ll be rocking a 17 year old to sleep. Also I will never have time to shave my armpits or travel or run or do anything awesome ever again. I don’t know how people have more than one. This baby is definitely going to be an only child. I’m signing us up for tubal ligation/vasectomy just as soon as I get enough sleep to remember how my phone works.
~ 4 Month Postpartum THE CHILD SLEEPS! And he smiles at me and is happy to see me and interacts and parenting is so amazing and let’s have another one RIGHT NOW!
I’m not pregnant or trying to get pregnant, for the record. We have no idea how many more babies we want and when we want them. Just really amused at how up and down my feelings on a second baby have been.