While we were walking Tim and Stevi to the tube station and getting groceries and a new card reader, Mike snuck into a flower shop and bought me a rose because he’s an awesome boyfriend.
See what I did there? I called him my boyfriend. My ring didn’t evaporate, and the venue we’ve booked didn’t call and cancel. We still love each other, and we’re still engaged.
I’ve called Mike my boyfriend a few times and been corrected by people.
Here’s the thing…I kind of hate the word fiance. To me, it sounds kind of smug and pretentious. I thought maybe I didn’t like it because so many women base so much of their net worth on being wanted by men, and saying fiance, for them, seemed like a way of announcing that they were desirable and wanted and thus oh so very valuable as people. Then I realized that “husband” doesn’t bother me at all, so I guess it’s not that.
I guess I don’t know why I hate the word fiance, but I do, so I have to find something new to call Mike.
- Betrothed?
- Boyfriend ++?
- Pre-husband?
- Mikey?
- Intended?
- Other?
Help me internet!!
Twitter: a_bit_unlikely
says:
I vote pre-husband. Spencer and I have talked about getting engaged too and the word fiance just sound snooty. Though, I find in Texas it’s very common for people to call their boyfriend their husband, whether they’ve been together 2 months or 10 years. That’s one thing I don’t get.. I know one woman who was dating her boyfriend (YES BECAUSE HE IS A FREAKING BOYFRIEND) for 3 months and was calling him her “husband”. It just was weird to me. I didn’t freaking get it.
I can KIND of get that if you’re living together, maybe? Still kind of weird. Husband/wife are terms for married people, IMO.
call him a pissface
Solid plan, Rico. Flawless, as usual.
my ears are burning!
Do they burn when you pee?
Twitter: emmysuh
says:
Oh, please use “betrothed” like you wandered out of a Jane Austen novel.
I get you on fiance. It’s such a label, not a relationship. It’s intermediate and if you stress it, it’s like you’re not appreciating the in between stage, you’re trying to rush ahead to marriage.
I think there’s nothign wrong with saying, “Hey, this is Mike, we’re getting married.” Or, “This is my person, Mike. We’re getting married.”
NOUNS, who needs ‘em, let’s go with predicate nominatives with a follow up sentence/clause explaining. I LOVE GRAMMAR.
I LOVE “This is my person, Mike. We’re getting married.” I totally vote for that. Being each other’s “people” is hilarious and kind of adorable.
Ha ha, I kind of like it too. I might try rolling with that. Or maybe just “My Mike” and not mentioning wedding things unless asked?
Twitter: emmysuh
says:
Yeah, I mean, people are going to know exactly what you mean when you say, “my person.” Sometimes I say of Shaun that “this belongs to me.” He’s MINE, BACK OFF. Er, I mean, he’s mine and I adore him.
I tried so hard to get Andrew to call me his “lady friend” and I would call him my “gentleman caller”. I could never convince how awesome it would be. Come on! I feel pretty aloof in regards to fiance. I call Andrew my fiance but we’ve been engaged for two years with no wedding in sight, so I tend to do it to piss people off. Like my grandmother. I hate the term “hubby” with a fire that burns brighter than the sun. It’s just such a silly pet name, like we’re in high school and he’s your “bee eff”.
Here’s some of my suggestions:
Lover, don’t you just shudder when people openly refer to some one as lover and they’re not being ironic?
Suitor, better have a dowry if you’re going to swing this one.
Inamorato, triple points for people who think it’s dirty.
Ha ha, I love the old timey properness of your suggestions.
As for a dowry, my parents don’t have any goats or sheep or anything, but they do have a pug and a cocker spaniel. That has to count for something, no?
Twitter: emmysuh
says:
I LOVE GENTLEMEN CALLER. Especially for long term couples. “Oh, excuse me, I was just entertaining a gentleman caller in the front parlor.” Confused friend: “Erm, do you mean you were eating dinner with your husband?”
See, I think that would make me sound like Blanche from Golden Girls or a high-end hooker. NEITHER OF WHICH IS GOOD, EMMY!
Twitter: deathbyduckie
says:
Alex and I are one of those engaged couples who still call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. Fiancé doesn’t work for us and we will stay girlfriend and boyfriend until we are husband and wife.
Don’t you get sick of people correcting you though?
I never really thought of fiance being an disliked term. James and I called each other that…but now I’m thinking how awesome it would have been if we had chosen another name. I like Cori’s “suitor,” sounds so sophisticated!
I don’t think it’s universally diskliked, and I don’t hate it so much when other people say it, unless they’re being really overtly smug about it. It just doesn’t feel right for me. You could start calling James your “Permanent Suitor”?
Whenever people ask about my “fiance” I just give them the hookers business card I picked up the night before and tell them that’s her.
Hooker’s business card? Is that what all the street kids are calling herpes now?
No, a business card is a small piece of paper that has the persons name, job title and services offered on it. Sometimes a logo. You’ve never heard of a business card?