Tour 21: Windsor Castle, Stonehenge, & Bath

Figuring that my mom might be a bit jet lagged on her first full day in Britain, I booked us for a bus tour that took us to a few pretty major sites around southern England. That way, she could nap here and there if she needed to, but it would also be a productive day. Mike took the day off of work and joined us, which was awesome because Mike is fun.

Anyway, the sites were awesome, but the real story here is the tour director. Picture if the Weakest Link host chick mated with a pre-school teacher, and that’s basically our tour guide. She lined us all up and counted us and gave us all sorts of calmly explained instructions like “no hot drinks such as tea or coffee”. The joke of the day, however, came about as we were pulling into our first stop (Windsor). She advised that as we had a tight timeline, we’d be allowed to (and her voice lowered here like an authority figure bestowing a great privilege on a child) bring a sandwich back with us from one of the shops in Windsor and *gasp* eat it on the bus. She then went on to explain that a sandwich was two slices of bread with something in between, and items such as hamburgers did not count as sandwiches. Also, we still were not allowed to bring any hot beverages on the bus, but we’d be permitted to bring one cold beverage if we wished. SUCH LUXURIES. Anyway, that was pretty much the joke of the entire day, and we weren’t the only ones joking about it – we overheard some of our fellow tour group members joking about it in line at Eat.

Anyway, Windsor Castle was BEAUTIFUL. Apparently the Queen spends most of her weekends there, and I can’t blame her. Here is my mommy and I in front of Windsor:

And then Mike and Mommy in front of Windsor:

And Windsor Castle by itself, being all Windsor-y

We made our way into Windsor and through the metal detector, and immediately walked over to St. George’s Chapel. We’re not terribly religious..but the final resting place of Henry VIII – HELL YEAH! It was actually surprisingly plain, and he shares it with Jane Seymour and a few other people. Surprising – I was expecting something more along the style of his daughter Elizabeth I. The only explanation we could think of is that Henry really never actually planned on dying. Anyway, we walked out of the Chapel and just happened to catch the beginning of the Changing of the Guard:

We only had about 2 hours at Windsor (including time needed to get our two slices of bread with something in between them sandwiches), so we decided not to watch the entire ceremony, instead making our way to see Queen Mary’s Dollhouse, which my four year old self would have been THRILLED to know I got to see in person (although sorely disappointed that it was behind glass and that I wasn’t allowed to turn the lights on and off. Actually, my 28 year old self was kinda disappointed about that.) I had a total obsession with Queen Mary’s Dollhouse as a kid. My mom had a book on it, and I used to pour over it for HOURS looking at all the pictures of miniature stuff.

Anyway, by then it was time to go get our tour-approved sandwiches and head back to the bus. Our tour director was very happy that everyone was back on time, and praised us, saying “You all did an excellent job coming back on time. No one made everyone else wait for them, and we’re all much happier for it.” NO KIDDING. I felt like we were about to all get a sticker on our good behavior charts. We ate our sandwiches (as well as contraband kit kat’s that mom snuck on for us), and the bus was on its way to Bath.

Bath the town was kind of neat – it was cool seeing the homes of Jane Austen and Nicolas Cage, but the Roman bathhouses were kind of disappointing – very museumy and kind of boring. We did get some nice pictures near the baths though. Mike is posing for GQ or Confused Dickensonian Weekly or something:

I’m just posing:

Mike said he wanted something “dynamic”. This is me being “dynamic”

The tour guide as well as about a million signs direct you not to touch the water at Bath as it’s not treated. To horrify mom, I dipped my finger in the water, then licked my finger. MISSION COMPLETE! She is now convinced I’m going to die of some diseased water illness.

We left the Bathhouse pretty quickly and strolled around the town of Bath. It was very cute and quaint, but obviously very tourist oriented – everything was incredibly expensive! Finally, we were all back on the bus (everyone made it on time again, thank god no one got their name written on the windshield with a frowny face next to it or anything) and it was off to Stonehenge.

Stonehenge was pretty rad. They have the main site roped off so you can’t get close or touch the rocks or anything, but they have a smaller rock outside that you’re allowed to touch:

Also, I continued my anarchistical refusal to obey signs:

Requisite Stonehenge Tourist Shot:

We again all made it back on the bus on time, and it was back to London. We hopped off at Earl’s Court, then had fish and chips and a few beers, then came home. We’re all pretty exhausted and are heading to bed. Tomorrow is Buckingham Palace – TOTALLY STOKED!